"My daughter does not have a daddy," she told me and I lost my bet. But I hope one day I can win

"Do you remember on our discusion three years ago when I was pregnant and you told me that my exfriend become to me and our daughter and show his interest about her minimal within 2 years? So you has been wrong - really is a pitty we couldnot bet how did you suggested - you should lost!´
With smile on my lips I have opened e-mail from one friend of mine. She has been a former investigative journalist - very good, gifted, professional, beautiful and highly inteligent woman. We studied Journalism together and we were having a lots of fun and we used to get to meet together after finish our studium. But three years ago we met for the last time. She was pregnant with her friend (but not boy friend) - he was her ´best friend´. But when she told to him that she is pregnant he answore her he wont this child and recomended abortion to her. She become be very angry and stopped speak with him and stayed pregnant. And she clamed her daughter has NO father and she refused to say WHO is father of her daughter to her doctor and write down to the Birth certificate his name.

Her another friend started to convince to her that it is important to do it to receive an alimony from him for her daughter that later she can change her mind and will be regreting. But she repeated that she want from him nothing. I did understand her but I am convinced her daughter has right to know name of her daddy - even throuth he is an idiot :-). Cos every child - every man - need to know his or her parents. Obviously no everybody can understand his or her parents and there are families issues everywhere but if is possible the girl need to know him! This is not about pride of my friend, this is about her - their - daughter. Then I added that I think he is just young and full of emotions and then he become on the right way minimal within two years after birth their daughter. And now - I received this email from her:
"Do you remember on our discusion three years ago when I was pregnant and you told me that my exfriend become to me and our daughter and show his interest about her minimal within 2 years? So you has been wrong - really is a pitty we couldnot bet how did you suggested - you should lost!´
Yes. She is right. I lost my bet. But this is nothing bad. But her daughter lost more... Her mum stayed really stubborn and her daughter has not any father written down in her Birth certificate.
The curious thing is that they both are living close to each other and both are single.
She is so pride that she denied every money for this girl and she started working from home just 6 weaks after giving birth her daughter and now she is full time working and has a two another part time jobs (from home - and one of them is still journalist job and the second editing and copywriting job) - just cos she want for her daughter the best and she need lot of money to putting her to the private kinder garden.
I dont know what I should to think abou her. If I should think about her that it is crazy to prepare her daughter live without father or admirate to her that she is absolutely able to take a care about her daughter alone and give to her everything best. Or think she was crazy to make baby with a man who she knew very good - his unresponsibility and everybody of us warned her against him. I dont know... I just think they both are amazing girls - my friend and her daughter - and on the End of the day after crucial decision my friend is big fighter and I - like a good auntie - am going to wish her daughter - and I making a new bet: I hope, my Darling, you will be more wise than your parents and with your beauty and cleverness you could mollify heart of your daddy and he foget on his pride and your mum forget her pride as well and they will allowed to you having and meeting a both parents and be absolutelly happy!
PS: I am making a small reparation in my opinion and I am giving to you for that next... 15 years... Please don´t dissapoint me, My Dear, cos it is more then ´lose bet´ - I want still keep my faith in the Happy end!

Comments

  1. I understand your friend's anger, but she should tell her daughter who her father is: after all your friend made the mistake, trusting someone who, as you say, is notoriously irresponsible. Her daughter deserves to know the truth - which is your friend miscalculated, she thought daddy would stick around.
    Why do I say this? Because my mother did more or less the same thing (with the added difference that she pretended her husband was daddy) and I have suffered because of it. Honesty is the best policy.

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    1. Oh Elena, I am sorry for your case! You are absolutely true! I can realize that. I will tell that! I think she really don´t think that should be so wrong for their relationships (she underestimated that I think as well!).

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